ABANDONMENT AS FAMILY ABUSE

Whenever I see some intruders’ pock-nosing into people’s families using advice as a strategy to mislead them because of little challenges they going through, I laugh! And what I do ask myself is this, who gives them that assignment? Be careful the kind of advice you buy into, it might come from the haters. I would ladder advice you to follow your mind map than to copy what people are doing, a person who knows himself knows what he want and he moves with clarity. But whenever you stop following your mind map and start following another people’s map, I can grantee you that you will keep missing your ways until you go back to your direction!

For example – There was a time of little difficulty abroad, emirate precisely and people start sending their family back home both those with good intention and bad intention. It does not affect everybody then, but some people did it because others are doing it. Even though, difficult time is temporary not permanent! Once you are real to yourself with hard work and prayer. The most frustrated life is living in partition with your family

May I shock you? If sending them back home is the solution of what they are going through, why is it that many people who send their family home are living with concubine? Live in the same house; drive the same car if they are looking for how to cutting down expenses. The worst of life is living without obeying Gods instruction. Before you take any decision in your life, you have to define your life purpose. Who am I? What am I created to do? And what will prevent me not to be fulfilled?

To live a fulfilled life you have to have this question in mind and an answer to them because where purpose is dined, abuse becomes the ways of life. Then, you will be careful how you live your life because little thing you do can thwart Gods plan for you. Life recklessness is as a result of not defining life purpose, not that others are doing it or people are saying it or have said it, and you buy into people’s opinion. Are you living by people’s opinion? Or Are you people’s pleaser?

I believe the best service to the child is the service closest to the child, and children who are victims of neglect, abuse, or abandonment must not also be victims of bureaucracy. They deserve our devoted attention, not our divided attention. Kenny Guinn

Fear of abandonment is among the most anxiety-provoking situations in childhood. When parents left their children home to abroad or send their family home from abroad or get home late from work like bankers or suddenly leave town, a child may feel mounting anxiety and fear about their parent’s safety. Children feel an emotional attachment to their parents and feel insecure if this is absent, often going to extraordinary lengths to re-establish it. The loss of a parent due to death or divorce often causes a child’s fear of abandonment to intensify, often well into adulthood. When a child grows up with an absent parent, they may have feelings of grief and blame themselves for their parent’s absence. When the child is completely deprived of any contact with his or her parent, they may attribute parental abandonment as a result of something the child did or did not do. Young children are egotistical, believing they are the cause for events in which there is no logical connection.

The damage caused by parental abandonment is particularly devastating if it happens before the child understands that he or she is not responsible for others actions. If this happens, the child grows up with the belief that there’s something wrong with them that makes them unlovable. While the remaining parent may be able to provide emotional support and help the child develop a healthy sense of self-esteem, oftentimes very young children will still believe they are at fault.
Other types of childhood trauma can also lead to abandonment anxiety, such as childhood abuse, neglect, parental substance abuse, depression, or other mental disorders that parents unavailable can lead to long-term abandonment trauma.

Abandonment and Attachment
Children are born hardwired to become attached to caretakers which is critical for adult functioning and the development of interpersonal relationships. Childhood abandonment – real or perceived – causes problems forming secure attachments which can set the stage for poor quality of later relationships. Children who do not form secure attachments to their caregivers face challenges socializing with peers, the way most children learn social behaviours. Fear of abandonment is not found exclusively in childhood and can be seen in adults as well. Some adults who experienced childhood abandonment feel the effects and struggle to form satisfying relationships throughout their lifetime.

A lack of a social support network deprives them of resiliency factors that provide protection from stress and a coping mechanism for handling the hardships in life. While there are many effects of child abandonment, the hidden danger is that the person may develop post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of long-term attachment issues, on-going fear of abandonment, and lack of a supportive social network. Since an adult struggling with childhood abandonment has been silently enduring the psychological, emotional, and physical effects of abandonment for years, they may not realize that their feelings can be changed.

Signs and Symptoms of Person Traumatic Stress Disorder of Abandonment; It can significantly impact a person’s daily life, activities, and stress levels. Symptoms of abandonment trauma may include: Mood Symptoms: Intrusive, debilitating anxiety, Chronic feelings of insecurity, Chronic depression, Decreased self-esteem, Feelings of loss of control over life, Self-depreciation and Isolation…etc. in conclusion; take the leadership of your family.

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