A snake can shed its skin but will always be a snake. Remember that before sharing your secret to anyone. Intruders are smart enough to know peoples secret not for your own good but to use it against you. What people tend to not realize is that harboring a secret could be hurting you just as much as revealing it, if not more. Secrets, even small ones, can prevent relationships and friendships from being truly close. We keep secrets for all different reasons
Are you victims like i was once are? When people mess with your emotions, they mess with your heart. It hurts when people belittle your dreams. It is quite depressing when your friends hypnotize you. No secret is safe when you get to the net of the snake in the monkey shadow kind of friends. Gossipers has name compare to those who pretend to be your friends but they are giving you extra knife-cut at your back. This person is not concerned with loyalty.
Intruder as friend won’t be your cheerleader when things are going smoothly, but when you’re suffering, he is the first person rushing to your side to hear your sob story. He seems to be looking for a confidence boost, and may actually enjoy hearing about how badly your life is going. Because he is suffering from inferiority complex; Judgmental friend, you probably feel weighed down after hanging out with him. Your happiness seems to be offensive to him, to the point that he feels like he needs to take it from you. He sees in your growth his own stagnancy.
I have a story of a friend who will always ask me my plan for him to know and advise me on what to do and he can never let me to know his own plan or troubles of life. But in my assessment to him, he is completely negative in many areas of life. Give such person a cross line and hide. Learn to build your strength in your pain by turning your pain into pressure.
According to Cognitive psychologists;
If something is no longer in your daily use, you’ll most likely start forgetting that. The best way to improve your memory is to keep remembering the same thing, over and over.
Retrieving a memory with time to time makes it stronger; So if you don’t want to make your past secrets a long term memory. Don’t retrieve it time to time by remembering it again and again, by talking with others about it or by thinking about it in your head
I know, you have been told to share your miseries so that you could feel better but that doesn’t happen. Our mind remembers things for a long time with which we are in contact for a long time. If I will always talk about that painful phase, then how will I forget it? And if I will not forget, then how will I feel good? For example, do you know why some rape victims don’t open up? Because they are afraid of becoming the town’s topic; It makes them feel ashamed to walk in the street where everyone is either sympathizing with the person or humiliating the person. Who want to be talk of the town in a negative way? I assume on one.
The terrible truth is we humans have a tendency of talking about others pain as if we are above pain, mistake, or problems, in whatever sense which doesn’t cost us anything. But it adds extra knife-cut to the pain of the victim by reminding them of their past.
I am not telling you to distract your mind. But to let the wounds heal instead of opening them every time in front of others or lonely. When we don’t give time to the wound to heal they start hurting us more.
Do you know why people insist on speaking, thinking and listening positive things because our actions and emotions are directly affected by what we speak, what we listen and think. If I will always listen about that past event then my brain will always think about it and I will start feeling miserable about that.
I have some childhood secrets which I prefer not to even tell myself. So you can assume how touchy those topics are. But gradually I am forgetting them and they no longer give me pain.
Don’t harm your future dreams just because of some past events. The past has gone and left you forever.
The best way to hide secrets is to keep them in your heart rather than in people’s mind. When it borders you, See your mentor or do self-talk when you need some relief. A lot of work in therapy is about admitting secrets – to ourselves and to those we care about. This opens the door to deeper communication, empowers you and creates the kind of connection we all want in relationships
I have a book coming up soon that says. Rise above discouragement. It will be more helpful.