The problem with having problems is that ‘someone’ always has it worse, but Increasing the strength of our minds is the only way
1. They are able to stay calm, and maintain self-control. Self-control is not about self-deprivation, and it’s certainly not about punishment. But it is often about redefining what is pleasurable to you in order to keep destructive behaviors in check. It is about taking power over your own actions and learning to ignore immediate impulses, no matter how powerful they may be. When you exercise self-control, especially in a difficult situation, you send a message to the world and, more importantly, to yourself, that you care enough to take responsibility for yourself.
2. They have clear boundaries between themselves and other people. Knowing yourself will help you navigate your way to your goal of establishing healthy boundaries. Know thyself. Get to know yourself as best you can. This means that you need to learn what’s really important to you, what you really value apart from anyone else. Gaining access to your inner world by becoming familiar and comfortable with your own beliefs, emotions, feelings, and ideas is essential. The intimacy you experience within yourself serves as your own personal relational barometer. The better you know yourself, the better you are able to understand and choose those significant others that best mirror the kind of life experience you want to have.
3. They respect their own and others’ boundaries. Just as we have a responsibility to ourselves to set, enforce, and reinforce our own boundaries, we have a responsibility to respect the boundaries set by others. It doesn’t matter if we think those boundaries are too rigid or too lax; it doesn’t matter if we think those boundaries are arbitrary; it doesn’t matter if someone else’s boundaries align with our priorities or not. When someone says “no” to us in a domain in which they’re entitled to set a boundary, we owe it to them to respect that “no.”
4. Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. They don’t become defensive, or feel completely crushed, when someone is critical of them or their work. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.
5. Mentally strong people are appropriate, they recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy. they are able to take their fair share of the blame, and are quick to apologize when they are in the wrong.
6. They are flexible, and willing to adapt or change.
Consider your personal approach to change. How do you respond when facing change? Do you: Accept the change as positive?
See the change as an opportunity?
Adapt plans as necessary?
Quickly master new technology, vocabulary, operating rules?
Lead the change by example?
Take into account other people’s concerns?
Sort out your strengths and weaknesses fairly accurately?
Admit personal mistakes, learn from them, and move on?
If few or none of these responses describes you, you’re not alone. Many of us get stuck, have a hard time letting go, or simply don’t know how to proceed in unknown territory.
7. They know their limitations, and are happy to be helped. It can be incredibly difficult to accept your disability. Acceptance can feel like giving in—throwing in the towel on life and your future. But refusing to accept the reality of your limitations keeps you stuck. It prevents you from moving forward, making the changes you need to make, and finding new goals.
8. They forgive themselves willingly – and then move on with life. Self-forgiveness is not about letting yourself off the hook nor is it a sign of weakness. The act of forgiveness, whether you are forgiving yourself or someone who has wronged you, does not suggest that you are condoning the behavior. Forgiveness means that you accept the behavior, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed.
9. They don’t bear grudges, or play games with people’s feelings. Grudges, like all things that trigger stress, are eventually destructive to our bodies as well as our minds. This lagoon of pent-up emotional poison can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, confusion, depression, an inability to concentrate, sadness, hopelessness and a whole host of other negative emotions that cripple our everyday existence.There is a clear difference between forgiving and forget-ting, though the two are closely intertwined. Forgiving does not mean you have accepted the act of injustice.
Rather, it means that you have made a conscious decision to gradually release the anger and resentment you feel toward some-one who has done you wrong or hurt you. It is the act of untying yourself from thoughts of retaliation and revenge and choosing to embrace peace and happiness. It might be bad experiences from our past or little things that irritate us on a daily basis. Regardless of the context, sometimes we find it hard to let these ill feelings go, bury the hatchet, put the past behind, for-give and forget, kiss and make up. need I continue
10. They are responsible, persistent, and are people of their word. Persistent people have a goal or vision in mind that motivates and drives them. They are often dreamers and visionaries who see their lives as having a higher purpose than simply earning a living. Their vision is deeply ingrained, and they focus on it constantly and with great emotion and energy. They often think of this vision first thing when they wake up and last thing before they go to bed. Reaching this goal becomes the focal point of their life and they devote a major portion of their energies and time toward reaching it.