What is a people pleaser?
A people pleaser is someone who tries hard to make others happy. someone who cares a lot about whether other people like them, and always wants others to approve their actions! They will often go out of their way to please someone, even if it means taking their own valuable time or resources away from them. People pleasers often act the way they do because of their insecurities and lack of self-esteem.
Are you a people pleaser and have trouble saying no? Are tortured by the idea that someone might not like you? I want to help you to stop people pleasing and here is how!
Recognize that you have choices.
Usually people-pleasers feel as if they don’t have a choice, and they have to say yes when someone asks for their help. Understand that it’s Okay to say no! The realization that you have choice empowers you. Life doesn’t just happen it’s a series of choices. You can choose what kind of day you are going to have by being conscious of your choices.
Decide on your priorities.
Do you struggle to get things done because everyone feels important? There’s not enough time in the day to do it all, right? If you silently said yes in your head, you probably don’t have a clear idea of what your priorities are.
If you already have commitments or you have set priorities then it’s easy to say no as you’ve a genuine excuse. Do what matters most to you, and remember – it’s your life! The truth is that our ability to move forward and accomplish our goals often depends on what we decide to prioritize. Once you’re clear on your priorities, you’ll be able to make better and quicker decisions that guide your life choices.
Stall for time – don’t give an answer right away.
Say you need some time before you make up your mind. That allows your time and space to think about the consequences. Once you’ve created some time for yourself, you can think about whether or not you want to answer the question. A media interview isn’t an inquisition and it isn’t a subpoena; just because someone asked you a question doesn’t mean you have to answer it. You can answer the question you wish they’d asked with a technique called blocking and bridging: “My says”-“The reason for the failure is because of the questions you are answering wrongly”_”Divine-Royalty”.
Don’t be afraid to add conditions to your yeses. For example, say you’ll only say yes if someone else says yes as well – or only take on a new task for a set period of time. Exellency is lifestyle!
Are you being manipulated?
When you are being manipulated by someone you are being psychologically coerced into doing something you probably don’t really want to do, There are plenty who will use you to help their plans succeed. So so watch out for those compliments and empty flattery.
Be firm when you say no. The first time you say no it feels uncomfortable and hard. But once you’ve done it a few times it starts to feel much easier. Also, if you sound confident then others take you seriously.
Don’t defend you decision.
It doesn’t matter what happens, what situation you find yourself in, what others did or didn’t do. You are responsible. If you failed to meet a deadline, own it. Stop excusing your responsibility. You have a right to say no – and to NOT defend yourself. It’s your life after all. You don’t have to explain why, or come up with excuses, or be pushed and pressurised. Also, don’t apologise, Saying no is not a crime.