Never give a space in your life to someone who continuously brings you down. It’s impossible to believe in yourself 100% when you’re surrounded by people who don’t believe in you. On a long enough timeline, your confidence will give in to the constant bombardment of self-doubt around you. It’s biological. Your brain is wired to copy the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours of other people. You can fight this herd mentality for a while, but not forever. The only way to win the battle for your own mind is to actively decide who you let into your life.
If you want to increase confidence and avoid feeling of self-doubt, you must eliminate people who second-guess everything you do. Second-guessers are those people who are always predicting all the bad things that will happen to you if you take on some new challenge. When you tell these people about a new idea, they will give you a list of reasons why the idea is flawed. When you show them something you have created, like a business plan, a chapter of your new book, or the early stages of a new project, the first thing they will do is tell you everything they don’t like about it.
Second-guessers never offer solutions and they never ask productive questions. They just predict failure, doom and gloom. Stop listening to these people. Their predictions are based on nothing but fear. Instead, surround yourself with people who are going to ask you constructive and instructive questions, people who are going to first congratulate you on your new idea and project, people who are going to help you look for solutions.
There are some situations in which cutting people out of your life completely, friends, family, significant others, are a necessary decision. At the end of the day, putting you first is the most important part of personal growth.
They no longer support you or your dreams
• Sometimes, when you’re excelling in life faster than other people, they get jealous. They aren’t happy to see you doing well, while they’re at a standstill, trying to figure out just what to do with their life. They start to challenge your dreams, your ambition and make you feel guilty for not being so available for them.
This makes you almost second guess yourself, wondering if what you are doing is the right thing. Never let someone else’s insecurities later what you see for yourself. Do not let anyone stand in the way of building your own empire
You can’t trust them anymore
• Once trust is broken, it’s incredibly hard to build it back up. It can start small, as someone not keeping a secret, or big, as someone betraying you harshly. If you ever feel as though you cannot trust someone, you shouldn’t have to feel guilty about moving on from this person.
You don’t want to be surrounded by people you have to walk on eggshells with or be on your toes for.
They are too negative
• Energy does not lie and energy is contagious. The more negativity you surround yourself with, the more negative you will become. You don’t want to be around someone who is constantly inflicted your life. You don’t need to be around someone who is always looking at the glass half empty
The more you put negativity in your world, the more negative it will become. Separate yourself from anyone who makes you feel like you are being held down or held back.
They take more than they give
• Every relationship and friendship is a two-way street. At times, you may give more than you take, other times, you may take more than you give. But, if someone in your life is always taking and never giving, making you put in all the effort and never raising a finger, you’re being taken advantage of.
No one should ever be given enough power to treat you as though you are only there to serve or please them. If someone makes you feel as though you are not enough of a priority to make as much effort, leave.
They are no longer the person you once knew
• People change over time, it’s inevitable. As we age, we grow into different people with different priorities and needs. While change is okay, if someone in your life has changed for the worse instead of the better, and, you no longer recognize them, you can distance yourself from them. You don’t want to be around people who have bad habits and perpetuate that kind of behaviour.
Give yourself a chance. You’re going to meet a lot of people that will convince you that happiness is impossible. Don’t be one of them. Don’t doubt the decisions that make you who you are because you are afraid of the future. Let things play out the way they are supposed.