Don’t Let Toxic People In, Let Them Go

• The best sort of character, however, cannot be formed without effort. There needs the exercise of constant self-watchfulness, self-discipline, and self-control. Samuel Smiles
• Until you let go of all the toxic people in your life you will never be able to grow into your fullest potential. Let them go so you can grow.” – DLQ

People with toxic qualities are master manipulators, skilled liars, and great actors,” Thomas says. “They can be hiding everywhere.” One way to identify a person like this is that your feeling after hanging out: Every time you talk to them, you feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and negative.

The people you keep as your friends have influence on you. Self-discipline does not mean limiting yourself. Its ability to make a decision and take action, life is too short to spend with pretenders. Put a segregate with those who continually overlook your worth, those who like to use you to have their way. Stop being someone who you are not because you want to maintain friendship. That is false humility, to torment who you are. Run away from those who have only word of mouth without character. Don’t change so that people will like you. Be yourself! Value is important and integrity is who you are! Stop hoping on somebody. Trust in God, in your ability,

Pray hard. Work hard. Stand up for who you are. It’s better to controversial than to be inconsequential. True people will love the real you. You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep wasting time with pretenders. Those who pray together with you, eat together with you, but cannot transact business with you. They only have you when there is problem to solve. It is only the handkerchief people use, drop and pick again whenever they want. When you make yourself an object of entertainment you will lose Value. Drainers or naysayers are to be cut off.

Execs-baggage can delay your movements when you are boarding flight or you will attract extra charge when you are travelling. We live in an age of unprecedented opportunity with ambition, drive, and talent; you can rise to the top of your chosen profession regardless of where you started out. But with opportunity comes RESPONSIBILITY. It’s up to you to carve out your place in the world and know when to change course. No personal success, achievement, or goal, can be realized without self-discipline. It is singularly the most important attribute needed to achieve any type of personal excellence.

Don’t misunderstand me! Am not saying that you will hate people but Jesus said in Matthew7:6 don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you. ‘CHARACTER Good character is like a golden necklace. You become prettier when you wear it’ by “Divine-Royalty”

Every hero must make a choice. Anointing may glorify you but character may bring you down. Character in life is what makes people believe in you and is essential both for individual success and for our society to function successfully. Stop getting into the wrong relationship for the wrong reasons. Relationship must be chosen wisely. It is better to be alone than to be with the bad company, especially those who claim to an angel but they are dangerous brethren.

There is no need to rush. If something is meant to be it will happen at the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Don’t reject the new relationship because the old one didn’t work. In life, you realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you, and some will teach you, but the most important is that some will bring out the best in you and that is more reason to key with kind of relationships that motivates and inspires you and make you better people than you are.

Letting go of toxic people can involve four major steps.

  1. Recognize the Red card
    Red card is a signs that a person is being toxic in the football pitch. It’s when someone shows characteristics that are against the law of football. It’s when you feel any level of dissatisfaction and distrust just as refry. Trust your gut. When you recognize character that deserve red card, you can evaluate whether a person is trying to manipulate you or not. This gives you some level of control over what you allow in your life. The earlier you detect these behaviours, the better off you will be.
    Red card include:
    • They always hurt people down.
    • They point out imperfections and sabotage your self-esteem
    • You may feel drained or used when you’re around them.
    • What you give isn’t reciprocated. They don’t return the goodness you provide as a friend.
    • They ignore your boundaries and get angry when you tell them “no.”
    • You catch them in half-truths or outright lies when you confront them about anything.
    • You are the villain; they are the victim.
    • Second chances always lead to repeated patterns of behaviour.
    • They may engage in abuse.
  2. Set Boundaries
    Setting boundaries is also an important part of self-care.

Tell them how you feel. Are they respecting you, fulfilling your needs, and listening to you? If not, it’s time to set up a healthy emotional distance and start letting go of toxic people around you.
There are levels to this. You have your inner circle, which could include family, and then you have acquaintances and strangers. If a toxic person is in your inner circle, it’s time to pull back and put up some boundaries for them to follow. If they can’t hear you out, you can cut off the connection completely.
You can give second chances, but you have to be careful. If someone knows they can get away with something, they will do it again. If there’s any chance for the relationship, they have to know not to cross certain lines.

  1. Invest in Yourself
    You deserve to know you are worthwhile. Try to remember that things will get better and that anything is possible. How do you do so? Invest in yourself.
    This means self-care, goal setting, surrounding yourself with positive support, and feeling a sense of peace. Your greatest ambition should be to love yourself. Without self-love, letting go of toxic people will be difficult.
    Every relationship is a risk, but if you know yourself and what you will allow, toxic people will have less of a hold over you. If you are a giver or people pleaser, you are most at risk to being in a one-sided relationship. You shouldn’t be punished for caring, but sometimes trust needs to be earned. If you have self-love, you are treating yourself the best way possible. You know that others need to meet your standards; otherwise, they don’t get to be a part of your life.
    It’s possible that you can love yourself and still not see the signs. It can be difficult for some to be aware that toxic people exist. However,, if you know how much you mean to others in your life and what you are worth, you will be less likely to take on a relationship that is harmful to you or repeat negative patterns. Self-love is how we get out of toxic relationships, but it’s also how they never begin.
  2. Know When Forgiveness Is Possible
    There are times a person will prove their worth to you. They may make a mistake that makes them seem like a horrible person. They may forget to be good to you because of their own issues. They may just have no example of what a healthy relationship looks like. They may have an inflated ego that really comes from insecurity. The list goes on.
    If they apologize, that’s a start. Look at their actions. Are they changing for the better because they really want to change or just seeming to in order to manipulate you? A person may control others with their image or perceived personality, but if you see through them, you may be able to discern the degree to which they are willing to be there for you.
    How to Go from Overwhelmed to Motivate?

If they start to do the right thing, you may begin to trust them again. Don’t start forgiving them until time has passed and you are sure there is growth, even if they show vulnerability or remorse. You can give a second chance if they truly have an awakening. Otherwise, it’s best to get out. Don’t let them walk all over you; let them walk out the door.

If you do give a second change and they still refuse to change, you have every right to remove them and continue the process of letting go of toxic people. The moment you even want to leave may also be a good time to get out. You don’t have to compromise yourself in order to care for them.
Forgiveness is the release of resentment or anger. Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You have to go back to the same relationship or accept the same harmful behaviours from someone. You don’t have to let them back in. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

Remember, forgiveness is ultimately for you, not them. You don’t need that person in your life in order to forgive them, and if you give them a second chance, proceed with caution.

Finally
If a person is worthwhile, they will prove themselves through their actions, not their words. If they cross certain lines that really harm you, you owe them nothing. You have every right to feel what you feel and to be upset. Honour your feelings and communicate them because it’ll only continue to keep happening if you don’t.

If this is happening to you, it’s time to put a stop to it. It’s time to take control. It’s time to live for yourself, not for what others say about you. It’s time to set your standards higher than they’ve ever been before. And most of all, it’s time to let go.

Fly unlimited

17 comments

  1. Kingsley ,you are again up with peach of a writeup on how to manage or deal with toxic people in our lives! you have time and again illustrated your worthiness as class motivator in searching for solutions to some intricate problems in life! Your efforts are designed to make our lives easier!Thanks& keep up the good work,dear!😊❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I ended up having to unfriend myself from someone who turned out to be very toxic in my life…it isn’t easy when you are close to that person, so naturally I gave them many chances. Now looking back, removing them from my life was the best thing I’ve ever done and I have no regrets 😊😊

    Like

  3. So detailed oriented post on relevance figuring out toxic people and staying away from them..yes it’s very important for our personal growth and wellness ..excellent work 👍🏻👍🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  4. If we are finding it difficult to forgive others, lean on God to help us. Receive His grace and remember we may be undeserving of it, but receive it anyway. Do the same for others. As you say, showing grace and forgiveness does not mean accepting the negative behaviours others show. It means encouraging each other to be better to each other, and to ourselves.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • To forgive is Divine! But forgive and distance yourself from negative people

      Forgive weakness and cutoff wickedness

      Those who hate knowledge are lovers of ignorant. They enjoy doing stupid things
      “Divine-Royalty”

      Matthew 7:6 ► Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.

      Liked by 1 person

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