Life is a great lesson and will not give you what you want but what you deserve. I have seen many people who say something like; my uncles are wicked, my brothers are wicked and my friends are wicked, why? Because, they don’t want to help me;. But today, they have grown to be someone’s uncle, friend and brother…etc., and they have not done anything to help them.

I am not by any means saying that those who God has blessed should not bless others. In fact if you are blessed and your blessings are not blessing others, you are unimportant to God. But the most frustrating thing in life is inability to believe in yourself and take responsibility. Or living and depending on somebody.

I was once thinking as one. I almost end up penurious while waiting for my uncle to help me until the pain of poverty put me on the run and motivate me to take responsibility; I was once a mockery to many people, in other words, poverty is a motivator! Depend on your mind-set, Mind-set is everything. I am not saying that I have arrived, but today am better than yesterday.

No One Wins At The Blame Game

Gustavo Razzetti tell a story about a blame game, he said, A fisherman is heading home at dusk. The river is narrow. Suddenly another boat is headed straight for him, coming faster and faster. He gets upset and starts to yell: “Watch out! Turn!.” But the other boat crashes into him anyway. The fisherman is furious and starts yelling louder and louder. Until he realizes no one is piloting the other vessel. He was bumped by an empty boat. He now feels even more upset: he has nobody to blame.

Your life is full of boats adrift. And most of them are empty. But your mind clouds your perception. It urges you to find the pilot. When things don’t go well, you want to find who’s guilty.
When unfortunate events happen to you, how do you react? Do you find someone to blame? Or do you take responsibility for what is under your control?

Stop reacting and urging others to pay for what they (allegedly) did to you; that’s what blame is all about. Taming your mind will free you from pointing fingers. ‘Emptying’ the boats in your life will stop you from blaming others.

“You do not blame your shadow for the shape of your body: Just the same: Do not blame others for the shape of your experience.” — Gillian Duce

I also counsel a friends who hope on his brother to help him, he keep hoping and hoping and blaming the world around him and his age is going down. When he later brings the matter to me; Here is my advice to him.

• 1) If you don’t take responsibility, you will end as nobody in this life. We give others the control over the outcomes in our lives. We are no longer able to choose our response

• 2) Since you have being blaming your brother on your conditions, what have it change? I understand that it has being nasty but you can’t continue like this. Change this mess you are in now, you are not a statue

• 3) God is a miracle worker; definitely, not a magician. He knows how to bless when to bless and who to use don’t direct him and stop hunting for unnecessary prophecies without solution which has being in front to many churches today.

• 4) God created work first for man in Garden of Eden when he said cultivate the garden. God’s blesses people on the hustling grand not by blame game. He said in whatsoever you do I will prosper. What are doing that God will prosper?

• 5) When you come to the church today. We have powerful prayer warriors who are powerfully poor because they pray without taking a positive risk. Faith with risk is dilution.

After speaking to him, we hold our hands together and pray. He starts sharing tears and asks me where you have been all this while. I told him that I have been around but today is the appointed day. Today this guy is working in the airline as a carbineer.

Do you want to know the secret to success? Stop blaming! Believe in yourself and start take responsibility. The word responsibility is comprised of the words response and ability, meaning “the ability to respond.” If you want to master your life, you need to realize that you are in the driver’s seat. When you take responsibility for your life, you are telling the world that you aren’t a victim. We all have excuses and reasons for blaming external sources for our problems.

Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will, his personal responsibility. Making excuses instead of taking responsibility for one’s actions is the seal of people who fail to succeed in their personal and professional lives. Every time that you blame, you are giving away your energy. When you do so, you don’t have any ability to change your current circumstance in life. This inferior mind-set results in a life of pain and suffering. You are 100% responsible for your life. Take ownership. If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see, make a change. It’s that simple. You need to be honest with yourself.

Fly unlimited.


  1. This is a powerful write-up. I recall someone blaming me for not helping out. I felt guilty even though I couldn’t have helped by any means, he was looking for something in the purse of someone looking for the same. The person we think could help us might be looking for help as well. No one wears another’s shoes to know where it pinches. Besides once we are adults, we shouldn’t blame another for our inadequacy, and for not helping out. It’s not a right but a privilege.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Everyone’s happiness is in his or her hand. I once experienced heartbreak that wanted to keep me in that state. What helped me is self love, that is when I discovered that you can’t give what you don’t have. Thanks Chery!


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