Years ago, I encountered soul-shaking loss when I experienced blackmail in my dream Passion as speaker, I’ve been reflecting on my life, especially my career. It’s easier to look back at the highlight reel, fast-forwarding through the embarrassing or painful moments. Recently, though, I’ve been pushing myself to pause and dig into the tougher times. It’s hard emotional work, but it’s often necessary if we want to grow.
The truth is that, when I’m honest, many great opportunities in my life ended prematurely because I’d abruptly walked away. In every situation, I found valid reasons why. But I’d leave out the part about not feeling good enough. Seeing this pattern emerge, I realize I’d been experiencing imposter syndrome.
Have you ever felt like a complete fraud and that everyone was going to find out that you didn’t deserve your accomplishments? Have you wrestled with feeling like you don’t belong? If so, you’ve probably experienced imposter syndrome
Impostor syndrome is a psychological condition where people are unable to believe in their successes. Thus, despite the evidence that points to the fact that they are skilled, capable and competent they write this off as temporary or timing and good luck. Thus, they constantly struggle with feeling like a fraud.
So what are some ways that you can counteract this syndrome?
- Admit this is something that you suffer from. When we know we’re not alone, and our symptoms have a name it can help disperse the feelings of anxiety and shame.
- Distinguish between facts and feelings. Everyone feels stupid and inept at times. That doesn’t mean we’re stupid. Our feelings aren’t facts.
- Don’t demand perfection. It is good to set goals and have high standards for yourself. However, it’s unhealthy to obsess over every little thing. You’ll simply waste a lot of time and never feel quite satisfied.
- Take a look at the rules you have imposed upon yourself. Are you saying to yourself: “I have to always get it right”; or ”I should never ask for help”; or “It is bad to make mistakes”? These are misguided rules that undermine your self-esteem. They set you up for failure as they close the door to help.
- Change the tapes in your head. Instead of constantly repeating faulty self-destructive thoughts (such as “Wait till they discover just how useless I am”) replace it with a thought that builds esteem and confidence.
- Don’t look to others to affirm your success. Don’t look to other people to rate and judge your work. Set your own personal goals, and note the progress you have made.
- Fake it till you make it. Almost every individual who succeeds in life has a time when they’re acting, as they don’t feel confident. It means that they’re still learning, and are not afraid to try.
I empower people with mental energy to succeed